Thursday, 1 December 2011

September 2, 2011

Ann : Is thinkin about u today little man..... miss u soo much.... i still often find myself crying at the loss of u but i know that ur watching over all who love u and miss u oh so much :-( looking at ur picture every day brings back all the smiling faces that u used to make at me and how u used to love to snuggle into my neck to sleep.... i love u little man and miss u bunches :-( rest in peace baby boy....

August 16, When Gerry Realizes That Comments Are Disappearing From The Facebook Page

Gerry : Am I the only one who can't see any of the comments on any of the less recent pics?! Had dozens of pics with comment threads on them and I can't find a single one! :(

Marc : only one I see with comments is the one with the sketch

Phoebe : i'm not sure which pics you are refering to, but maybe you can link through to them from your notifications???

Sue : I can see all the comments right back to the beginning..perhaps it was just a FB glitch...can you see them now?

Gerry : Phoebe, I can't see any of comments on the pics older than a month or so... Example all mine n AnnMarie's pics from March til June that we posted: a lot of them had threads of comments n I can't see any of them...
Sue, can't understand why you can see them all and I can't :(

SaraFacebook has been messing up... So it will probably come back in time because I was having the same problem with an event I have and I know someone else also that was having problems with not seeing somethings or it was saying that there was way more ppl that where invited then there was... Give it time hun and I am sure it will fix :)

Phoebe : oh you're right, I don't see comments either, I hope that its just a FB glitch too.

Sue : OK I went right back to April 1 2010 a post from Angela Marie and there are many comments there...earlier than that it's mainly me posts of messages from my friends which don't have comments, all the posts after Angela's have comments..can you see them? Otherwise I will copy and paste them for you xxx

Gerry : I can't see any of them, except for the newest pics... Really hopin its a glitch that will get fixed soon

Phoebe : Just checked today, and can't see comments still. Is there a way to contact facebook and see if they can fix it?

Gerry :Sent FB an email... Keep you posted on results/response.

August 10, 2011

Elizabeth : Hey, I recently started a thread in a fertility (or lack of it) forum, it was called the Worst Comment Award & had a bit of a "vent here" theme (you know how people say the dumbest things in an effort to console you) and I got an interesting reply that I thought I would share.

It was from a woman who, after miscarriages and years of unsuccessful treatment and failed IVF - nearly $10 000 a cycle - she finally conceived...

She miscarried last week at 3wks...
Family & friends weren't as supportive as you would hope.
Worst Comment Award went to Mum & this woman's twin brother which included "At least you know you can get pregnany now" and "If it wasn't for the IVF you wouldn't have even known that you were pregnant" (because it was so early...wth is wrong with some people? Grrr...)

Then she had a comment from a stranger that took her by surprise, it may or may not fall into the Worst Comment Award category but I found it a comforting thought.

He said to her...

"It's not the body that matters, it's the soul...Maybe something wasn't quite right, maybe something with you wasn't *just* perfect, maybe he didn't like his nose...

It's just a matter of finding the right vessel at the right time...he'll come when he's ready..." honest...does the Worst Comment Award go to me today or is that a nice thought?

Oh god, I am SO gunna win this Award, aren't I?! Sorry!

Gerry : Can you pls send me a link to that forum?

August 3, 2011

Gerry : Here's a sketch of the grave marker for our little man... Should be installed sometime autumn... will keep you posted.

Renee : Beautiful, Gerry! How are you doing? I didn't realize that Dominic and I shared the same birthday...

Ann : LOVE it..... Rest in peace my little prince :-( Auntie misses u more and more as the days go by :-(

Gerry : I'm hanging in Renee, taking it day by day. Thanks.

Renee : Love you, Cuz!

Shawna : I love it hun

Phoebe : looks good!

Nathaniel : Yeap looks good, gonna pitch in for that baby monitor.

Susan : very nice Gerry god bless his soul .. may he rest in peace oxxo.

July 11, 2011

Sue : "Do not be afraid to speak his name. He is still my son and always will be"

I saw this yesterday but don't know where it comes from...I thought how apt for Gerry and Dominic. xxxxx Always will be.
Elizabeth What a beautiful pearl of wisdom. I can kinda understand where people are coming from - they don't want to raise a difficult subject and cause more pain...but how much worse it is to go through life thinking that your the only one who remembers, the only one who cares just because nobody will talk about it.
I think I've said something like this to you before, hey Gerry?
....but not quite so eloquently!! lol

June 2, 7 and 26, 2011

Elizabeth(on hearing Shawna is expecting) : And while everyone else is celebrating new life (which they should it IS great news)...I wanna give a shout out to Gerry on this day...thinking of ya =)

Gerry : Well, you have a brother/sister/maybe both (talk of twins) on the way... It scares the crap out of me! I held you're newborn cousin on Sat n I'd panic internally every time I couldn't hear him breathing or couldn't see him moving while he slept on me :( That short experience as only a small preview of the panic I'll be going thru each n everyday that you're upcoming sibling will be around... I also share Shawna's anxiety of another miscarriage n that only raises the stress level even higher. I know that should I lose this one too, you'd be there there to take care of them as you are with the last little soul that Shawna miscarried, but your Daddy, first the first time in his life, has never been so unsure if he has the strength to handle losing another one! :( I'm a wreck as it is; I've ne...ver been so messed up n such a basket case in my life! I'm to the point where nearly anything puts me over the edge on a nearly daily basis and ruins the rest of my day, sometimes even the next few days. The fear, pain, pessimism, frustration and anger I go through each n every single day only amplifies my resentment of my current life! I'd come to be proud of the strength of character, the seemingly infinite willpower and the immense tolerance I had for everything life threw at me. Nowadays I can barely keep a grip of my own thoughts, much less shrug off anything that people or circumstances throw at me... Now, to amplify the severity of this chaos, I know I have to get my shit together since I have your brother/sister on the way. But I CAN'T!!! I can't get a grip of myself and no matter what friends and family tell me, I can't stop being so pessimistic! I wear myself out nearly everyday just trying to make it thru the day! My tolerance and self-control a waning more and more by the day! I find myself blurting out my often to honest and/or blunt opinions to people without hesitation or consideration of their feelings. For example, someone who knows little of me told me to cheer up n that I had no reason not to be in a good mood, to which i simply stared them down with a thousand yard stare while they were telling me this n without any hesitation told them "If you don't like it, then get out of my face n stay away!" I would've never in my life been so rude and what's worse is I have no remorse for telling them that!

Renee : Congratulations, Gerry, if I understand correctly that you and your wife are expecting... ♥ You have every right to be scared to death, to feel how you feel all kinds of emotions tumbling out day after day. I truly believe that everything with this baby will be alright and that you will be alright. Here if you need me. Love from your cousin on Staten Island...

Joedon't really know what to say here and usually it's a good time to practice my motto: "When one has nothing to say shut the fuck up" but hell I love living dangerously.
Anyway all I wanted to add is we're kind of living a similar situation here not with grief and mourning but raw emotions on edge...some sort of cosmic fog of war going on and i understand your fear and pessimism the old pavlov dog story the once bitten twice shy , chat echaudé craint l'eau froide, etc one day at a time and wait and see is pretty well all we ve got some sort of old "live dog is better than a dead lion" attitude...hope and faith are getting to be words too big for me and somewhat meaningless these days like pink floyd says Quiet Desperation is the English way dunno about the French blood part now well for someone who had nothing to say guess it's enough...sobriety is so uninspiring :)

SueI guess we all feel anxious about this new life within Shawna, we'd all love to welcome he or she to our family and watch them grow. 
You have been to hell and are slowly on your way back...some days are desolate and then perhaps you realise you just laughed at something silly. As Dad says, one day at a time...perhaps even one hour, be brave and make plans for your new Babe, think of names(Sue lol), baby gear but carry on trying to enjoy the now. We love you dearly and are with you in spirit xoxoxooxoox

Gerry : Thanks all, n Sue, names are: Boy: Austin Brent (maybe Brentie) and girl: Annabella Priscilla

JoeAustin Brent Caissy? ABC? :)

Gerry ABGC lol Austin Brent Gilmore-Caissy

Renee : you two are definitely related

Nathaniel : We love you Gerry. You're in our thoughts and prayers. You've picked some very nice names for your future kids. Take care.

SueIs it feeling any easier, Love....are you both feeling happier these days? xx

GerrySue, I believe Shawna might be feelin a little less worried since the further along in the pregnancy, the less likely we are to have a repeat of a miscarriage. Unfortunately, although the chance of another miscarriage does worry me, it is not my greatest concern. I doubt my fear will dissipate anytime soon

Suesending much love on behalf of all your family and many're not alone, Mate xxxxx

Hedgewytch Briar Rose : Much love to you all on this journey. Can you access a pregnancy after stillbirth/neonatal death group? Pregnancy after loss is a whole emotional rollercoaster of it's own. Blessed be xx

Elizabeth : Don't suppose you've checked out the statistics of another miscarriage Gerry? If you're feeling morbid, then don't, but you've actually got the odds stacked in your favor which is a calming thought. A few months from now you're going to be kicking yourself for all the unnecessary worry - you know that don't you?
This link is an Aussie forum but you should check it out
Heaps of folks from all walks of life with all sorts of histories - and they are very supportive of one another, it's a home "away" from home for a lot of the Mums & Dads there...somewhere they can find people with the same background because the rest of us are only guessing what you're going through

Sue : and Shawna has two hale and hearty children already!

1982...Gerry and Phoebe with cousin Karine and their Grandma St Onge

Ann(to Dominic later in the month) : There isn't a day that passes that I dont think of u my little prince..... Auntie misses u more and more as the days go on.... I often find myself crying myself to sleep when thinking of u..... Altho I didn't know u for very long u left a very huge mark behind when u left so soon and so suddenly :-( I love u my little prince.... Until we meet again my prince.... ♥ ♥

May 22 2011

Joe :I thought Clapton looked a bit like you here Gerry

Tears in Heaven

Sue : just sending my love, Gerry...not a day goes past that I don't think of you and wish you comfort xxxxx
GerryThanks Sue, always appreciated, miss you... Hope things are goin well, inbox me pls, would like to know how you two are, sorry I haven't been very social lately

May 16 2011

Heather : Gerry It breaks my heart to know how broken your heart is. I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain, but I know there isn't. I send you my love, Heather

May 12 2011

Joe :

Rise Again by the Rankin Family

When the waves roll on over the waters
And the ocean cries
We look to our sons and daughters
To explain our lives
As if a child could tell us why
... That as sure as the sunrise
As sure as the sea
As sure as the wind in the trees
We rise again in the faces
of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
When the light goes dark with the forces of creation
Across a stormy sky
We look to reincarnation to explain our lives

As if a child could tell us why
That as sure as the sunrise
As sure as the sea
As sure as the wind in the trees
We rise again in the faces
of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
We rise again in the faces
of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again

There is a lot of Caissy in our history

Dominic Austin Adrian Colin CAISSY
@ Gerry (Gershom) CAISSY 01-05-1979
@ Joseph Léo Adrien CAISSY 29-12-1955/ ASAP some people would like :)
... @ David CAISSY 1926-1989 (08-04-1926/24-08-1989)
@ David CAISSY 1885-1967 (Married to Agnes Parent see 2nd line)
@ Jean CAISSY 1842-1903
@ Urbain CAISSY 1790-1868 (21 children in 3 marriages)
@ Nicolas 1743-1813
@ Jean 1703-1789
@ Jean 1676-1748
@ Roger 1646-1715 (born in Ireland)

and Gerry Try not to do like Mon Oncle Urbain now! :)

r u from Michel, Renee?
we are from TWO Lines of Roger/Jean/Jean/Nicolas here :)

    • Dominic Austin Adrian Colin CAISSY
      @ Gerry (Gershom) 01-05-1979
      @ Leo 1955
      @ David 1926-1989
      @ Agnes Parent 1899-1973
      @ Auguste Parent
      @ Marie Anne Caissy 1848 Descendants Auguste Parent
      @ Abraham 1816-1895
      @ Joseph 1782-1866
      @ Nicolas 1743-1813
      @ Jean 1703-1789
      @ Jean 1676-1748
      @ Roger 1646

      so He is 10th AND 12th generation!

      Gerry with his parents in 1980...I can see a strong resemblance to Dominic...

  • May 9th 2011

    Elizabeth : Thank you Gerry, for the invitation to keep Dominic's memory alive. So the first thing I do is rummage through the photo's of course. Thanks a lot(!) - just spend the past 10 minutes crying :-( It occurs to me as I read some of these older posts that you haven't thought of something...
    Do you realize that every day that passes is not another day farther from your prince;
    But another day closer to the day you hold him again xxx

    GerryI broke down again today; you're the only person in the world that actually managed to turn your old man into an emotionally chaotic sap.
    You died the day you turned 12 weeks old... I've often wondered since than if it would've been harder if you'd died when you were older n its really hard to tell... If you'd been older I would've had more memories to cherish n such but I would've loved you just as much as the day you were born... that you died so young only leaves me missing the memories I wanted to have...
    The only thing that keeps me going is the rage from it all! I would die if it would bring you back! I'd say I'd gladly, without hesitating, give up everything to see you again, but you should already know that, since I gave up everything just to have you! I know it's not fair to want to take you back from whatever place you're in now, n so I'm only venting. However, I can't seem to cope with the loss of you! I feel my sanity and strength of will and character waning slowly each n every day. You n everyone know that losing you did the impossible: it not only nearly killed me but it's nearly completely drained all my seemingly endless supply of strength and willpower. 
    I find myself struggling to grasp enough strength to make it thru each day, sometimes just a part of a day. I've often thought of just giving up n letting myself go so I can be with you but then I wonder: I'm FAR from as innocent as you, who's to say I'd end up in the same place with you? On the other hand, as bad as I want to be with you again, hold you in my arms one more time, kiss you and feel my heart melt from seeing you smile, I can't let go of this rage so as to focus on making sure we end up in the same place! :(
    I can't tell you enough how much I love you n miss you!
    Mindy awe gerry! i bet he's holding on to u right now...he sees that ur in pain and u struggle...but its him thats guiding u thru
    Sue : it makes no sense and never sorry you are in such pain but thinking of you both with much love always xxxx
    LiseI know that God is with you and with Dominic. I feel your pain. Just want to let you know that you have a friend that cares.
    Pouchella : That's really sad. I am glad you talk about it though and trust people enough to share your pain with us. Thank you Gerry. And I am so very sorry for your big loss. Someday, you will meet again. xx

    March27th 2011

    Gaetan : Dominic sera toujours dans votre memoire et dans votre coeur. Bon courage a vous tous.

    March 25th 2011

    Phoebe : RIP my little nephew. Thinking about you...
    Today marks the first year that has passed without him, please contribute in any way you can to the reasearch of SIDS
    The Canadian Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths accepts donations online through Canada Helps. Canada Helps assists Canadian charities by promoting charitable giving and providing technology to receive donations online. Donate NowYou can also contact the National Office at 1-800-363-7437 to 

    Priscilla : Done! You can even send a card to Gerry if you do it from this site saying you donated!Its a really nice card. Kinda neat!

    I miss you today..... A lot :( XOXOX